In relationships, personal or business. The famous Win-Win and create a space for synergy coined from the late Stephen Covey is a virtuoso and high integrity model. This model asks us to look to nature for the answeres to communication styles and conflict resoltion as well as to look inside, and “lean in” and become more vulnterble through listening to understand, first before responding.
When does win-win work and why doesn’t it sometimes work?
It seems that win-win works in more black and white siutations where there are possilbly less variables. Win win can work sometimes after a relationship is built. And where a deep desire to know the heart of the other half is. Relationships take time to really build trust and understanding.
It seems most people want the secondary to submit in order to “win.” Close a sale. Control the outcome. Or drive the line. Thinking only to recieve the best possible outcome for themselves, no matter the cost. Egos take over and self preservation wins then greed backed by rationalization of our behavior, justifies our actions.
When that happens, we can justify white lies, breaking promises, lack of integrity and mistreating others for personal gain. All to often resulting in disconnection with self, losing awareness and trust in/of others and ultimately creating a false reality.
Sadly, in the past 5 years, I’ve had to learn this the hard way. Many business, work and personal relationships, where trust and integrity was violated. Leaving me to question myself and look deeper into what to do, how to change and how to respond. During these processes, with great learning, and leaning into stillness.
I’ve been able to redefine what faith is, who real friends are, who are business only connections, who not to do business with, and how to lean on intuition in clutch situations.
These lessons, have been invaluble teaching moments. And I’ve learned that what sounds like a win-win is when backed with real action. That action still speaks more that words. And integrity, trust, and outcome- matter. It builds faith in a faithless world and when people fail us, it rebuilds trust where trust was lost. That there are people who show up, no matter what.
Business doesn’t have to be so hard and go through these lessons to create something special. That movements, integrity, and authenticity are more important than control, ROI or becoming a millionaire.
I still am firm on advocating to become as successful, known, famous, wealthy, filthty stinking rich, brilliant, more educated as one sees fit. Theres so much more to do and serve when you have reources available to you. Who knows what personal discoveries can change the world, or even one person at a time, it would be worth the pursuit.
“A healthy desire for wealth is not greed, it’s a desire for life.”
― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth
Making the decision that becoming a forever learner and a student of life in the pursuit of fullfillment, joy, and the process has ultimatley produced more joy in being present and joy in the ups and downs of life. Like, when to say enough to “win-win” thats turned into “win-lose” and say no thank you. I will not be apart of something that is no longer serving, helpful nor fullfilling.