Trying to convince your loved one, spouse or partner of why you should move across the the ciy, state or country. After moving cross country 4 times. And moving 12 times total in our relationship. We have a lot of experience in moving.
1. Communicate & Build Trust.
You learn to communicate and trust your partner, and yourself. Now, some arguments are dead before spoken. When you don’t dare to ask, hey babe, lets move across the country?
If you don’t have that kind of relationship where your person of choice can be real with with you and support your dreams as much as you would theirs. Start there. In moments, where I’ve had to take a hard look at my relationship with my spouse, and step back. See him as a friend. Where we began before we were romantic.
Would, as a friend, I support him in his dreams?
When I step back and ask that honestly, there’s no hesitation. As I support my own dreams, how could I not say, “You must do it.” Not should. Not, eh let’s talk abou this later babe. It’s a MUST. Would I want my dreams taken with that kind of support and understanding from my friends?
Once that internal dialogue and reflection has happened. Then the conversation shifts, to where did you have in mind?
Letting go of all the unnecessary things that you never use anymore. That’s not to say that the logistics aren’t considered. When moving starts to add up you realize what you really need to live, and what you have kept that you’re not sure why you have it. And what really adds sentimental value and is truly irreplacable.
And in physically purging. You sometimes are letting go of the past. And metaphorically things you needed to “clean” out of your life to start fresh.
3. Organize & Become Resourceful.
The good thing is, when you choose to move, you learn real quick how to rely on your instincts to organize the details real fast.
How much is it going to cost us? What will it be like with out my current network of support? Where would the kids go to school? How do we change all our information? This is real stress. And it’s mean to be. It’s the stress of moving. And sometimes we need to go through real stress in order to get to our desitanation.
4. Networking & Gain friendships.
When we moved from Seattle to Florida with our dog and 1 year old son, we literally had to make a whole new life. We were new parents, across the country from any family support or friends.
We had moved before right after we were married from Idaho to Virginia as newly weds for a summer job. At that time we really were only interested in each other. And making new friends and networking really wasn’t part of our life.
When you have children, making friends becomes a lifeline and a must. You gotta find a crew fast, or you won’t last. As parents a support system is vital. For keeping us sane during the ups and downs of child rearing. The joys, outway the lessons, and we are better paretns for having good friends to lean on and make memories with.
As a mostly introverted personality, this was very strange to me. My husband is 100% extroverted. He loved it! I had to STRETCH. And put myself in uncomfortable situations. And realize, hey I really click with this mom group, and that one, eh, not my people. And also how to be polite, listen and learn from all sorts of perspectives and walks of life. Invaluable in understading who were my real friends and who weren’t.
Most importantly we made lifelong friends. Had we not made this trek to Florida we wouldn’t have met some of the most honest, amazing, brilliant, funny and deepest friendships of our lives. It was invaluble. Our kids have friends and people they can always call if they ever need anything. We are increddlbly grateful for living across the country for.
5. Learn to Live Anywhere.
When you’ve moved a lot. You know that you can move when things aren’t serving you or there is a better life change for your family. Because we’ve moved 12 times, we are good packing. It’s still stressful. There’s still road blocks. Arguements. Hiccups and unexpected challenges.
Mostly, I know that who you are goes with you. You can move 100 times or 1 time. And no matter where you go, there you are.
Really what you move is stuff, YOU are the happiness and the sum of what you make of each situtation.
Having moved this much, with my spouse and with kids, we literally feel like if called we can move anywhere, pick up and survive, and thrive. Faith becomes a huge anticdote to fear, stress and the unknown. There are indefinate unknowns, I’m learning. However, when you have faith, you will land where you need. And if the universe wills it, it will happen.
We’ve had to not only let of things, we thought made us happy, safe and securre. And rely on each other and to trust that all the answeres are inside. We are more empowered, more understanding, and better people for our travels. And we’ve been able to share, impact, and help more people than we could had we stayed in one place.
I’m all for at least one large move in a lifetime. It will shock your senses. Turn your world upside down. And you will discover what you were meant to in that leap of faith.